.
Interesting ... Martin and I had a brief discussion on this topic this morning.
Well, let us look at the various options ...
Oh that did it
Whose cat did you beat up on today?
the story of an inconsiderate boss that made one of the staff members get so nervous about rushing back to the office from his lunch hour that he almost had an accident, and because he was driving so fast got a speeding ticket that he could ill afford, back at work he was chewed by the boss because the report had a few spelling mistakes ... he goes home frustrated and upset -- he snaps at his wife, beats up the cat when the cat jumped up in his lap
So, did the boss indirectly beat up on the cat? even though he says he loves cats and would never hurt one.
Dont Ask For A Lighter Load But Pray For A Stronger Back
Interesting ... Martin and I had a brief discussion on this topic this morning.
Well, let us look at the various options ...
- I can react to the bad treatment and dish it out to the person who treated me badly as well
- I can react to the bad treatment and show my frustration and not dish it out to the person who treated me badly
- I can try to remain calm, take a deep breath, and hold back from giving any response
- I can remain calm, and try to figure out why the person treated me in a bad way
- I can remain calm, and try to be empathetic and wonder if the person is really wounded in some way and is in need of healing
- I can totally ignore the person who is treating me in a bad way
- I can become a zombie and not feel anything about the bad behavior
Is this an easy situation to deal with? ... of course not.
How we will handle such a situation depends on our whole life's work ...
- what we have been taught by our parents
- what we have been taught by our siblings, and elders
- what we have been taught by society
- what is our world view ... about how people are
- what is our world view ... about how life is
- all of the items here add up to ...
what is the writing on our wall
our internal database
our internal map of reality
our world view
Whenever we come across any situation, we always consult our internal database to find out what should be my response in this situation. And this internal database is dynamic and is always evolving, as people are always writing on our wall, we are reading new material, we are discussing such matters with others, we are living, we are learning, and so on.
Some things to keep in mind are that
- every one of us is wounded in some way ... and some thing said or done can trigger hurting the wound
- none of us is perfect ... if one was perfect, there would have been no need for that person to be born
- all of us are here to learn, grow, and evolve
- every one we come across is our teacher ... that person is here to teach us some thing
some teach us how to be
some teach us how not to be
some teach us how to do something
some teach us how not to do something
but they all, be it our children, be it our parents, be it our relatives, be it strangers, be it colleagues at work, ... they are our teachers nonetheless
Then of course is the question of our duty (our dharma) ...
- to respond
- to act
- to not be afraid of doing / saying the right thing
So, it is situational, it is subjective, it is personal, it is instantaneous ... our response to a situation is based on our life time's work of understanding ... the mystery of life, and then of course the traditional six W's ...
- What
- Where
- When
- Why
- Who
- How
Let me just add some more to the mix about human interaction ...
Whose cat did you beat up on today?
the story of an inconsiderate boss that made one of the staff members get so nervous about rushing back to the office from his lunch hour that he almost had an accident, and because he was driving so fast got a speeding ticket that he could ill afford, back at work he was chewed by the boss because the report had a few spelling mistakes ... he goes home frustrated and upset -- he snaps at his wife, beats up the cat when the cat jumped up in his lap
So, did the boss indirectly beat up on the cat? even though he says he loves cats and would never hurt one.
Dont Ask For A Lighter Load But Pray For A Stronger Back
So, when we come across a situation, we must
- not shy away from responding because of fear
- not shy away from responding because of the consequences
- respond with a loving heart
- be mindful of the situation which triggered the situation
- keep in mind that the person treating us badly might be wounded
and the bad treatment by that person may be because that person is hurting - not take it personally
the person may be venting off steam because the boss was inconsiderate
Yes ... easier said than done! but then we are in a life long quest to learn and grow.
It is not what happens to us that matters ... what matters is how we react to it -- that is what counts.
It is not what happens to us that matters ... what matters is how we react to it -- that is what counts.
Love
Yogi
